Nearly 30% of Americans make New Year’s resolutions. Only 9% keep them throughout the entire year.
There’s another agreement that Americans often opt out of, though less than before. The US divorce rate is down from 10% to approximately 7%.
A divorce has a much deeper impact than dropping a resolution. How can you pick yourself up and move on?
Here are five reminders to help you stay well and start enjoying life after divorce in the new year:
1. Practice Self-Care and Self-Compassion
Practice self-reflection, but also self-compassion. Recognize, but forgive yourself for the part you played in the ending of the relationship. The new year is the perfect time to reset and put the past behind you.
Taking care of yourself during and in the aftermath of a divorce is of vital importance. It is not uncommon for people to stop eating, exercising and even working over the stress and sadness of a divorce. You have to make sure to have a healthy diet and stay hydrated. Choose and stick with an exercise routine that works for you. Find ways to relieve your stress, whether it’s a hot bath visit to the spa or even a visit to a rage room.
If you are finding yourself in a spot where it is hard to stay focused and complete work, do not try to tackle everything at once. Take small, manageable steps throughout the day to accomplish small goals. As small accomplishments add up, it will give you confidence to begin to handle larger issues.
Importantly: make sure to listen to your needs – and permit yourself to take breaks when you need them. Take action each day to focus on your health and wellness!
2. Reach out to Others
Life after divorce is much easier when it isn’t a solitary experience. Frequently people stop engaging in social activities and cease communicating with family and friends while going through a divorce, whether it be because of depression, misplaced anger, or even a false sense of embarrassment.
New Year’s Eve celebrations are perfect for reconnecting with friends or family. You can also join a support group or set up your exercise routine, as mentioned above, to be something you do with a friend. Nurture personal connections, and they will help you for years to come.
3. Set Boundaries, Even While Co-Parenting
Set up boundaries with your ex, especially when there are children involved. The children deserve the best from both of their parents. If communicating with your ex causes you to be a less-than-ideal version of yourself, it is not inappropriate to limit communications. Nor is it inappropriate to insist that communications are exclusively about logistics for the children.
Boundaries are also necessary while co-parenting post-divorce. Developing a well-defined parenting plan that focuses on your children’s best interests will limit unnecessary interactions and will help prevent grounds for additional disagreements, or situations where emotions may run too high.
If thinking about or interacting with your ex causes you significant pain or stress – take a break from texting and social media. No good comes from routinely checking your ex’s social media if it causes you anxiety. Focus on yourself and your children.
4. Rediscover Yourself
Divorce is a new beginning that lets you look back on the past. You can rediscover who you are and who you want to be.
You may have pushed aside or neglected interests or hobbies during your marriage. Or you may have avoided trying something new to avoid conflict. Take advantage of having more “me time.” Think about what you might have missed out on and write it down. Spend time doing what you love and take a chance on anything you’ve always wanted to try.
After being in a marriage, you need to take time to learn who you are at this point in your life. Don’t jump from one serious relationship immediately into another. Your interests or priorities may have changed from your last relationship. Get to know yourself again – do not define yourself through romantic relationships.
5. Set Goals
A divorce can be as much of a motivator as the ticking of the clock. Talk to a family law expert about what you can do to finish the process smoothly so you can enjoy life again.
You can also set goals to keep you on a sound financial footing. Evaluate your situation and develop a plan to see how you can afford to do everything you want to do.
Whether it’s personal or professional, goals give you something to look forward to in the new year and beyond. That pushes away any creeping layers of depression or dread and replaces them with hope and happiness.
Resolve to Find a Family Lawyer
The new year is a difficult time in your life after divorce, but it can also set you on a much better path. Take time for self-care, reach out to others, set boundaries, rediscover yourself and set achievable goals.
DSDA is a full-service law firm rooted in Oklahoma but serves clients globally. Our team of experienced attorneys offers a collaborative approach to help clients reach their goals. Contact us to find a family lawyer today.